Christmas Season Traditions…Fully Present

It’s my favorite time of year. Normally I would have already brought out all the Christmas decor but I have yet to do that. I am really focused on the Thanksgiving holidays this year and being thankful now. Although, the minute that I am done with hosting I plan on decorating all weekend long listening to our Christmas favorites! For me it’s the season not just a day. Last year was our first Thanksgiving in Germany and I was the host as usual but I was not fully present. By fully present I mean I went through the motions in a daze. I was missing home, family, and my friends. I was not in a place mentally where I could fully appreciate all the good that God had given me. I thought to myself “why has he moved us”, “why did I agree”? I had also anticipated me feeling normal by this time as most people said it would take about 6 months. 6 months came and went and I wasn’t feeling normal. I remember sitting at the table and just wondering how I got here. By here, I mean the sadness, regret, resentment, the feeling that I was going to be sick, and my kids went to the worse school ever and I couldn’t do anything about it. I wasn’t use to not having control. As, I sat at that table all I wanted to do was cry because I was the most homesick that I had ever been. I am the kind of person that I can “perform” for the occasion. It’s quite exhausting and unfulfilling. I spent almost a year of my life here in Germany going through the motions and not being fully present. I think I was waiting for the moment of “arrival”. Well, that moment came not as I thought it would but it came in the form of my little “Angel” saying “mommy, you don’t seem so happy, did we do something wrong”? That was my wake-up call! I was not having it! I would not have my children feeling like they did something to make mommy unhappy. My unhappiness was my choice. I decided that we are on the journey for HIS purpose not mine and I needed to become fully present in my life and the life of my family. This is the life I was given and I don’t want to look back years from now and think I wasted it on things that I can’t control. I love my family so much and the thought of my family thinking they did something wrong really changed my outlook on my life. As I have said in previous post, I am a work in progress but during the process I need to live not watch life. We have been blessed with an incredible opportunity and friends living abroad. It’s pretty calm here in Germany and so I still have lots of time to work on me and I am thankful for that! For the past two weeks I have been watching movies of my kids through the years and remembering all the fun we have as a family. I’m so glad that I love to take pictures and record video because it’s nice to be reminded of what’s important. It usually ends with me having tears in my eyes because time passes. I was reminded this week as a truly sweet friend of mine lost her father unexpectedly. Life is uncertain, live, love, and smile. Appreciate where you are in life today because today is what matters, yesterday has passed.
Our Last Christmas in the USA Our last Christmas in USA 2010
We fall down but I have taught her to get up She fell down but she kept pushing..Life Lesson
We did this day on a groupon...10.00 for a family of 5 and hot chocolate! We love groupon! 10.00 Christmas excursion
Skating with my princess I will always be there to guide you
Daddy loves his little princess She has no idea the smile her dad has on his face…priceless!

4 Comments

  1. sap101197@yahoo.com - 5 years ago

    Awwww…growing up. That is,  you not the kids.

    Sent from my BlackBerry® PlayBook™ http://www.blackberry.com

  2. Pam at MoneyTrail - 5 years ago

    Very heartfelt and sweet thoughts you have shared. Life is too short to spend anytime on regrets. Learn and move forward, my sweet friend! I am looking forward to reading more about your journey.

  3. ladylittlefoot - 5 years ago

    Ah man I don’t know how I missed this before but I read today (2d day of Advent) and I am sniffing over in in Barcelona.

    Thanks for the reminder that it is a journey to enjoy the good and the bad the cold and the warmth. I’ve been hiding out from the cold really the chill of Barcelona and not letting myself enjoy this beautiful place. That will change starting today.

  4. […] The blog: Our Journey, His Purpose Why you’ll love it: Required reading: Christmas Season Traditions…Fully Present […]

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